Something Spectacular by Greta Gleissner

Author:Greta Gleissner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Seal Press
Published: 2012-04-12T16:00:00+00:00

SCENE 7

You Have Only Two Options

Once out of mozzarella hell, I again listen to the message Sherry left me. No, there is no way I can call her. What am I going to tell her? Hi, Sherry. Sorry I couldn’t make it today. I was too busy shoving extra value meals down my throat and choking on mozzarella to call you. I’m totally fucked. Getting fired would be the best outcome as I see it, because the thought of facing everyone, the thought of walking into that dressing room to see the dancers’ critical glances—and know they are whispering about me behind the costume racks—feels intolerable.

Not showing up today was one of my biggest blunders yet. Sure, I had quit at least thirty jobs in the past because I chose to act out my eating disorder instead of fulfill my responsibilities. But those were restaurant jobs. Jobs I cared nothing about. Not showing up to Radio City is another story. As I replay the last few hours and the decision to risk a job I’ve dreamed of having, I know that this is the progression I hear so much about in the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous.

I pick up the phone, my index finger hoping to push the numbers in just the right way to reach Sherry’s voicemail.

“Hello, this is Sherry.”

“It’s . . . it’s Greta. I’m, I’m so sorry that I didn’t show up today.”

“I was so worried. Where were you? What happened?” Sherry asked.

“Well . . . you see . . . it’s just that . . . I, I have this problem.” That’s a good start.

“What type of problem, Greta?” Sherry asked.

“I have an eating disorder. I’m bulimic.” There. I said it.

“Oh my God, Greta,” Sherry said. “I had no idea. How long has this been going on?”

“Well, it’s really been bad lately. I’ve had it since I was sixteen. It started kind of like a diet, and then just got really out of control.”

“I’m so sorry, Greta. I wish you would’ve called me and told me what was going on.”

“I was embarrassed. It’s not really the type of thing you want your dance captain to know about. I didn’t want any of the dancers to know. Well, except Heather—she knows. She’s tried to help me through the season, but I’ve just been so depressed that it’s gotten worse.” I feel like ten pounds have been lifted off of my chest. Too bad it’s not your ass.

Unexpectedly, Sherry opens up. “A few years ago, my husband and I were having a lot of problems and I thought we were going to get divorced. We ended up going to therapy and spiritual counseling. We’re really into our church. It helped us a lot. It was a really difficult time for me. I was really depressed.”

“Thanks for sharing that with me, Sherry. That must’ve been really hard. How did you get through it?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Not only was Sherry identifying with me, but she understood me, at least to some degree.

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